Sunday, March 08, 2009

Irish Bank Robbery

An armed hooded robber bursts into the Bank of Ireland and forces the tellers to load a sack full of cash.
On his way out the door with the loot one brave Irish customer grabs the hood and pulls it off revealing the robber's face.
The robber shoots the guy in the head without hesitation!
He then looks around the bank to see if anyone else has seen him.


One of the tellers is looking straight at him and the robber
walks over and calmly shoots him in the head also. Everyone by now is very scared and looking down at the floor.


Did anyone else see my face?' calls the robber.


There is a few moments silence then one elderly Irish gent,
looking down, tentatively raises his hand and says:



'I think me wife may have caught a glimpse ....'




Saturday, March 07, 2009

The Irish Husband

In the best husband contest, the first runner up is Serbia





The second runner up is Greece




The hands down winner is..... the IRISH hubby! Drink up bitches!






Friday, March 06, 2009

Jews do it with Chutzpah

CHUTZPAH:


... according to the Funk & Wagnall's Standard Desk Dictionary - US slang meaning: brazen effrontery, nerve, impudence, gall, cheekiness.
The word is Hebrew in origin.


Bill Gates decides to organize an enormous session of recruitment for a chairman for Microsoft Europe. The 5000 candidates are all assembled
in a large room. One of the candidates is Maurice Cohen, a little Parisian Jewish Tunisian.


Bill Gates thanks all the candidates for coming and asks that all those who do not know JAVA program language rise and leave. 2000
people rise and leave the room. Maurice Cohen says to himself, "I do not know this language but what have I got to lose if I stay? I'll
give it a try".


Bill Gates asks all the candidates that those who have never had experience of team management of more than 100 people rise and leave.
2000 people rise and leave the room. Maurice Cohen says to himself, "I have never managed anybody but myself but what have I got to lose if I
stay? What can happen to me?" So he stays.


Then Bill Gates asks all the candidates who do not have excellent college diplomas to rise and leave. 500 people rise and leave the
room. Maurice Cohen says to himself, "I left school at 15 but what have I got to lose if I stay? So he stays in the room.


Lastly, Bill Gates asks all of the candidates who do not speak the Serbo-Croat language to rise and leave. 498 people rise and leave the
room. Maurice Cohen says himself, "I do not speak Serbo-Croat but what the hell! - Have I got anything to lose?" So he stays in the room.


He finds himself alone with one other candidate - everyone else has gone. Bill Gates joins them and says: "Apparently you are the only two
candidates who speak Serbo-Croatian, so I'd now like to hear you both have a little conversation in that language!


Calmly Maurice turns to the other candidate and says to him: "Baroukh ata
Adonaï." The other candidate answers: "Elohénou melekh ha'olam."


chutzpah, jewish, jewish humorchutzpah, jewish humor