Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Confucious Sez

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Man who run in

Front of car get tired.

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Man who run behind

Car get exhausted.

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Man with one

Chopstick go hungry.

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Man who scratch butt

Should not bite fingernails.

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Man who eat many

Prunes get good run for money.

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War does not

Determine who is right, war determine who is

Left.

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Wife who put

Husband in doghouse soon find him in

Cathouse.

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Man who drive like

Hell, bound to get there.

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Man who live in

Glass house should change clothes in

Basement.

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Man who fish in

Other man's well often catch crabs.

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Crowded elevator

Smell different to midget.

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Person who deletes this has no humor!!!

State of the Economy

The economy is so bad.....
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I got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.

I ordered a burger at McDonald's and the kid behind the counter asked, "Can you afford fries with that?"

CEOs are now playing miniature golf.

If the bank returns your check marked "Insufficient Funds," you call them and ask if they meant you or them.

Hot Wheels and Matchbox stocks are trading higher than GM..

McDonald's is selling the 1/4-ouncer.

A truckload of Americans was caught sneaking into Mexico.

Dick Cheney took his stockbroker hunting.

Motel Six won't leave the light on anymore.

The Mafia is laying off judges.

Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen.

Congress says they are looking into this Bernard Madoff scandal. Oh great!! The guy who made $50 billion disappear is being investigated by the people who made $1.5 trillion disappear!

And, finally...

I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, wars, jobs, my savings, Social Security, retirement funds, etc., I called the Suicide Lifeline. I got a call center in Pakistan , and when I told them I was suicidal, they got all excited, and asked if I could drive a truck.