Friday, August 15, 2008

Watch whatcha say man... or Live Happy, Die Fat

THE MIRACLE OF TOILET PAPER

Fresh from my shower, I stand in front of the mirror complaining to my

husband that my breasts are too small.


Instead of characteristically telling me it's not so, he

uncharacteristically comes up with a suggestion.


"If you want your breasts to grow, then every day take a piece of toilet

paper and rub it between them for a few seconds".

Willing to try anything, I fetch a piece of toilet paper and stand in

front of the mirror, rubbing it between my breasts. "How long will this

take?" I asked.

"They will grow larger over a period of years," my husband replies.


I stopped. "Do you really think rubbing a piece of toilet paper between
my

breasts every day will make my breasts larger over the years?"

Without missing a beat he says, "Worked for your butt, didn't it?"


He's still alive, and with a great deal of therapy, he may even walk

again,

although he will probably continue to take his meals through a straw.

Stupid, stupid man