Showing posts with label fat. Show all posts
Showing posts with label fat. Show all posts

Friday, August 15, 2008

Watch whatcha say man... or Live Happy, Die Fat

THE MIRACLE OF TOILET PAPER

Fresh from my shower, I stand in front of the mirror complaining to my

husband that my breasts are too small.


Instead of characteristically telling me it's not so, he

uncharacteristically comes up with a suggestion.


"If you want your breasts to grow, then every day take a piece of toilet

paper and rub it between them for a few seconds".

Willing to try anything, I fetch a piece of toilet paper and stand in

front of the mirror, rubbing it between my breasts. "How long will this

take?" I asked.

"They will grow larger over a period of years," my husband replies.


I stopped. "Do you really think rubbing a piece of toilet paper between
my

breasts every day will make my breasts larger over the years?"

Without missing a beat he says, "Worked for your butt, didn't it?"


He's still alive, and with a great deal of therapy, he may even walk

again,

although he will probably continue to take his meals through a straw.

Stupid, stupid man